Six Months Later and Ouchy Poop

It's amazing to think that we are coming up on the SIX MONTH anniversary of the Little Ladies being home with us as a Forever Family. Big Bear and Little Bear have brought inexplicable joy into our family as the children of our hearts. We have fallen in love with each other for what I hope will be a lifetime (teenage years will test this love affair I'm sure...potty training that involves peeing all over the new rug on the playroom floor in your Big Girl Pants also lacks something in the warm fuzzy department but love should be blind - and hold its nose - right?). The cliche here would be that time flies and in a way this is true. It's hard to even believe that we have been parents for half a year. It's also hard to believe that our lengthy adoption process is finally over (trying to get social security numbers is another story...) and that our girls are really ours at last. The other side of the story is that there have also certainly been days when time went by very S L O W L Y and we limped to the end of the day only to collapse in bed and do it all again a few hours later. My dear friend Christy just brought her 10 month old twins home from Ethiopia last week. She said to me after a few days of being back, "You didn't tell me how hard this was." And I reminded her that I did tell her. She is by nature cheerful and probably just opted to listen selectively when I fell into whine mode. I reminded her that I was sobbing at my dinner table the fourth night back in the US because things were really really really hard at first in that early jet-lagged adjustment period. However, that was a very short season and life isn't nearly so difficult now. Most of our time together as a family is really fun these days as we continue get to know each other better. Being a mom in general is hard though. And being an adoptive mom certainly adds its own challenges. It gets easier as you figure new things out and get enough of a handle on things to be able to really enjoy your children. Another friend said to me the other day "I just don't know how you've done it. By starting with a baby, at least you have time to ease into the process." I think she has a point but for everyone that tells me something like that, I tell them that this is all we know and all we have ever known. Our lives as parents have just always involved two toddlers and we have learned to adapt accordingly. Humans are amazingly adaptable when they have to be - when they are forced to be. It's also worth noting that to the adoptive mother, we look at birth mothers incredulously thinking "You pushed that kid out of WHERE?!" I guess we all just have to write our own stories.

The thing about adoption is that it permanently imposes a nontraditional story on your life. By choosing adoption, you choose to be nontraditional and that can be hard if part of you likes keeping a lower profile. Transracial adoption makes you stand out. Period. As you know, that's been one of my biggest struggles in the whole process - the attention from strangers. What's been interesting lately though is that God has been changing my heart and I have been seeing the fruit in that. I have been praying for more grace and compassion and praying that God would help me to stay connected to the Bigger Picture of why this all matters anyway. I have had several strangers approach me recently that asked me about our girls. What could have been brief encounters ended up being wonderful opportunities to help very interested families get on the path to begin exploring adoption as a option for their families. One woman in a pizza restaurant was in tears as Davis described to her how our girls are two of 4.5 millions orphans in Ethiopia alone. Those days make me glad that we are a "poster family" for adoption. We've taken to telling anyone who tells us how cute our girls are that if they think so, there are over 4 million more where they came from that would love to find homes! A dear friend that I didn't even know read this blog (I don't know who reads it these days given my sporadic postings of late) told me recently our story has moved her family to consider adoption. She told me, "I have done Christian ministry all over the world and I don't know how I missed this. I just didn't know there were so many orphans in the world." She articulated our exact experience when we began this journey. We just didn't know. But once we did know, we felt a great deal of responsibility to respond to our knowledge of God's heart and the state of things in the world today. The rest is history. Our faith mandated action and we are now a family of four.

In honor of our upcoming six month anniversary, I have to share a favorite recent story from potting training Big Bear. (By the way, trying to potty train one child while weaning the other one off of the bottle that she dearly loves is a really terrible idea even if it works well with your family's summer calendar - DO NOT GO THERE). We were at the airport a few weeks ago heading out of town for our first plane trip since the girls arrived home from Africa. When you are potty training, you go to the bathroom A LOT. During one of our airport restroom stops, I asked Junia, as I often do, who she wanted to go first - her or Mommy. She told me she wanted Mommy to go first. I was happy to oblige her since I really had to go. She then proceeded to say "Junia help Mommy." She came over and put her hands - or tried to put her hands - on my waist so she could hold me over the potty like I do for her. When she heard the familiar tinkle, she started exclaiming over and over in a loud voice "Good girl, Mommy! Good girl! No accident! Good girl, Mommy!" as she patted my dry undies and offered to help with wiping. I couldn't help but wonder what the woman in the next stall was thinking at that point! This was only topped by her then asking me - in the same loud voice - as she waited for me to finish if I was having an "ouchy poop" (another related story, perhaps for another time, involves learning what happens to a child who is allowed to eat too many bananas on a given day). I told her that no I did not actually need to poop and that I would go ahead and finish things up on my own so that she could have her turn. I have heard that being in the delivery room causes women to lose all sense of shame. I am finding that just being a mom in general - regardless of how you delivered your kids - seems to bring about regular opportunities for a wide array of opportunities for embarassment. Thanks, Big Bear!


This latest pic is taken with one of Junia's favorite people on earth - her Gammy. She is rocking another recent favorite - the cowboy boots that once belonged to her daddy! Davis' mom had saved these for 30 years and passed them on to be given new life again on the very thick feet of our eldest Ethiopian Princess. Talk about worlds colliding!

A Sad Picture

Here's a sad picture that I took today. These are all shoes that the Little Ladies have already outgrown - in just 4 months! Eden's feet are now the same size as Junia's. Needless to say, I've taken to buying most of their shoes at Marshall's now (rather than Nordstrom!) knowing they will outgrow them in a month or two. This kind of pragmatism also serves as proof of my Real Mommy status. It was sad to see the little shoes they came home in knowing they are WAY too small now. It's a reminder of how quickly they will grow up. It's almost as if you can never take too many pictures because in what feels like the blink of an eye, that particular child is gone replaced by a bigger, wiser, older child. I've heard it said that kids make you feel young again. I'm not sure I agree with that one. I think kids, in a lot of ways, make you feel old. Perhaps this is because you live in a perpetual state of exhaustion (by the way, please don't tell mothers of toddlers they look tired - believe me when I say, we know that already). Perhaps it is because you drive around with multiple car seats in your backseat and, let's face it, there is just nothing sexy about that. Or maybe it's just because they serve as visual reminders that time is passing so quickly. Perhaps it is our children that remind us to live each day to its fullest knowing that each day can only be lived once and then it is gone forever. Much like childhood.

An Orphan - Or Two! - Changed Our Lives

Warner Brothers recently released the horror film Orphan that suggests that it is more difficult to love an adopted child than a biological one and that orphans have something "wrong" with them (in the film, the adopted child ends up being a mass murderer). I find this offensive on so many levels it's hard to know where to start. However, this is not the first time I have been offended by Hollywood and it's certain not to be the last. Let it be said right here and right now that as far as this family is concerned, orphans are 100% lovable and worthy of love and they are every bit as "yours" as biological children. Our lives have been transformed by two little girls from the other side of the globe who have filled our home with love and laughter. Yes, our life is a bit more chaotic. Yes, we've made choices about trading certain things in our lives (sleeping in, having absolute freedom) for other things (four bright little eyes and two wild fros jumping in my bed with a big "Good Morning, Mommy!", the sound of little feet thumping on the wood floor as they race around the house) but our lives are richer for that decision - even on the tough days. If you have it in your heart to open your lives up to an orphan, God will do the rest. All it takes is being willing. We have never for one moment felt that our girls were not "our own", and they become more "our own" each and every day as we choose to love them and be a family. True, they are not the children born of our bodies and this was our choice. They are the children born of our hearts and that is what is most important. They were chosen. They are dearly loved. They are our precious children, our own. And that's that.

Kids Eat Free...Sort Of and I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!

I fully recognize that it is bad blog form to write too much and to blather on beyond what your average reader really has the time to read or the interest in reading. However, I have come to just accept that as a blogger I write numerous posts over the course of several weeks and store them in my head until I can eek out enough time to actually write them out. What follows is really about 5 posts. Sorry. I also post too many pictures on Facebook. Maybe it's the overachiever in me. Feel free to read a bite or two now and stop back in later for another snack if I bore you or your kids start lighting the house on fire while you are reading.

We are in the midst of a fun and busy summer. Once again, I have been trying to get to the blog for weeks. Such is my life these days. I did have three delicious hours of freedom today though so I can't complain too much (thanks, Superdad!). In addition, my perspective has shifted somewhat in that I used to think "Wow, Mommy really has to take on more work than Daddy in this whole thing because Mommy is spending a lot more time with the Little Ladies." I now realize that this is a blessing more than a burden. My relationship with both girls has really grown in intimacy primarily because I spend a lot of time with them right now. I actually feel like Daddy sometimes gets the short end of the stick on this because he doesn't get to see them as much as I do. As much as I covet the rare quiet moments, I also find myself sometimes wishing they were still up once they've gone to bed because I miss them. That is a big shift for me!


Kids Eat Free...Sort Of
My latest "life in the trenches" story is one that I have been dying to write about since it happened a few weeks ago because it is such a classic Mamaland story. This summer, we have taken the girls out into nature on several trips. On our first big camping trip (yes, we stayed in a cabin but it had no bathroom and with two kids in diapers that is "camping" to me), we headed up to a beautiful spot in the Sierras. En route, we stopped at a ghastly IHOP restaurant in VERY small town for dinner (IHOP was pretty much our only option - certainly not a first choice for us!). The only redeeming factor was that we happened to be "dining" on a Kids Eat Free night. Because we ALWAYS run late now, it was dark by the time we were finally heading up the mountain on the long winding road to the camp. Little Bear was starting to pitch a fit so we pulled off the road and I gave her a bottle and brought her up to the front seat to try and soothe her. No sooner had she finished the bottle, did she proceed to barf the entire thing all over me and her and the entire front seat of the car. If you've never smelled raunchy IHOP-meets-regurgitated-milk barf, let me tell you - wow...it reeks. Eden's barf-o-rama mandated stripping down both her and me by the side of the road (I had barf down my shirt and all the way down into my pants...I know, TMI, but it helps to build background for the story) to remove the barfy clothing. This was then followed by trying to scrub the barfy front seat in the hopes of removing the odor as the car would have to have windows closed all weekend because of bears and it was to be a very hot weekend. Once we got Eden resituated and I had found something to throw on, we headed back up the mountain. We had been on the road for literally no more than 10 minutes, when we heard a very familiar sound from the back seat. We turned in time to see Big Bear wipe out the entire backseat - her clothes, her blanket, the carseat, the car door - with IHOP tastiness. This again mandated a beside-the-road stripdown and debarfing - I was at least not a participant this time - before we could head back up the mountain again. By the time we got there, it was almost midnight and I had the pleasure of washing out a very large pile of "extra chunky" laundry in the camp bathroom. Good times. My friend commented that I seem to have been barfed on more times in four months than she has been in four years. I think she may be right. So beware. When IHOP says "Kids Eat Free", you need to wonder why that is. At least we didn't feel bad about having paid for a meal that we got minimal mileage out of. The funny thing is that even when you have a smelly puke covered kid in your lap and you are absolutely exhausted, you are still really glad she is along for the ride. I guess that too makes me a Real Mommy.


My Own Parking Space?
Another thing that makes me a Real Mommy is that I have been in the pediatrician's office every week with some kind of really random toddler issue (including but not limited to a boil!) for one or both of the girls for the last FIVE weeks. I keep hoping for my own parking space but I have been informed that with kids my kids' ages - adoption aside, I'm not even in the top 10 list for Most Frequent Visits at the office. Davis reminded me that at least we are getting our deductible's worth this year. Most recently, Junia came down with a fungal infection that got secondarily infected with a bacterial infection which she then spread to her mosquito bites (from our camping trip) by scratching. On top of that she got a viral infection in a scrape she got from a fall while hiking. Fungal-bacterial-viral. Also good times. If you can believe it, the day after this diagnosis she woke up with pink eye. Thank God for antibiotics. She is fine now but it is scary to see what germs can do to a little body - especially one whose immune system is still on the mend from several years of malnutrition. I promise we do wash our hands but something isn't cutting it around here!

"Whoa, Nibbles!"
The girls have really been thriving as a part of our summer outdoor adventures. Eden is an amazing little hiker and often is in the lead running up the mountain. Junia is often our caboose because she is busy collecting rocks to put in her bug box, which she calls her "rock box". They love the outdoors and love learning about the animals and plants. On our recent trip to visit family out of state, Junia also got to ride a horse for the first time. She had been talking about wanting to ride a horse ever since we saw one on our first camping trip. On our second trip, we stayed at a family camp that offered horseback "riding" for toddlers on miniature ponies. Junia picked out the smallest horse named Nibbles and had the time of her life being walked around the trail on his back. She still talks about Nibbles almost daily. The other day she was alone in the bathroom (potty training is coming along...) doing her thing and I heard her shout "Whoa, Nibbles!". It was pretty hilarious. One thing a friend told me is that part of the fun of being a parent is experiencing things again for the first time through the eyes of your children. It was a neat - albeit unusual - experience for me to have so much fun watching someone else do something that I didn't regret not getting to do it myself.

Don't Forget Me!
It has also been so fun watching both of the girls' acquire language. They seem to learn random words every day. I find myself often thinking "I didn't know she knew that word!" The scary thing is also that your kids provide you with a mirror of yourself. You hear your own tone in theirs and realize they are imitating you all the time. That is sobering. Yesterday, we were headed to the car and I was carrying Eden with Junia following close behind. The door to the garage closed before Junia made it out. I put Eden in her carseat and went back for Junia. She looked at me with hands on her hips and said "Mommy forgot me! Mommy forgot Junia!" I had no idea she knew the word "forgot". I told her that I could never forget her or Eden because they are my girls forever. How true.

Weird Stuff
I also had my first "weird adoption encounter" this week. I'll preface this by saying that I have never had anyone - of any race - respond to our family in any way that has seemed negative. Some people have been annoyingly intrusive but never negative in their interactions with us. People have just been nosy and nosy is pretty harmless most of the time. This week was different. I was at the park with a friend who also has a daughter Junia's age from Ethiopia. They make quite the princess trio when the girls are all together. An older African-American woman came up to Eden and starting tossing a ball to her. I went over to Eden and stood by her as she played. The woman looked at me and then asked me if I was babysitting. I explained that these were my girls. She seemed confused because she asked me about my friend's daughter, assuming they were all sisters. I told her that the other little girl belonged to my friend and that these two were mine. She asked where they were from. I told her they were all from Ethiopia and she replied in a less than friendly tone, "Why did you have to go all the way to Ethiopia when we have plenty of babies here?" I was really thrown for a curve by that comment but I had been picking up on a bit of weird vibe from her anyway so I took my time responding. I told her that I feel that we are all called to minister to the needs of orphans in different ways and that for us, we were willing to open our hearts and our home to those who we perceived to be in the greatest position of need. I told her that while every orphan's need for a forever family is critical, children here in US foster care are not dying on the streets from malnutrition, lack of adequate water and medical care, etc. as they are in many parts of Africa. For that reason, among others, we adopted from Ethiopia. She had no reply and just looked at me and kept playing with Eden until I told the girls it was time to leave. She later told me that she "wished me luck" with the girls. My friend who was with us agreed that there was definitely a racial overtone to the conversation. My friend is African-American as well and told me that conversation would not have played out as it did if I were not white. So it was a weird encounter, and not my first I'm sure. Thankfully my experience "the weird park lady" has been an anomaly thus far. As with my previous Half-Mommy concerns, whatever the reason for the judgment of others, all that matters is what your own kids think at the end of the day.

"I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here!"
One final thought: Do you remember a really awful reality show called "I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!" that was on several years ago? I never saw it but I read about it and thought how ridiculous it sounded. It was populated with B-list stars in compromising situations. Ironically, I sometimes now I feel like I am trapped in an episode of that show. Here's why. On an almost weekly basis, I hear the following comment: "Oh, hey, my (fill in the blank here - friend, mother-in-law, brother, accountant, etc.) saw you in (fill in the blank here as well - Trader Joe's, Old Navy, the post office, the doctor's office, etc.) the other day". I'm not sure what to do with the fact that I have become a bit of a B-list celebrity in my B-list town because I have two Ethiopian children. As much as I would die for an background part as a member of the Cullen clan in the next Twilight installment, I would make for horrible celebrity. I'm not a fan of people looking at me, talking about me, etc. - especially people I don't even know. I read in an adoption book that if you adopt transracially you need to be prepared for lots of staring and random comments. This part of the process has actually proved more challenging to me than dealing with toddler meltdowns, strangely enough. I'm sure God wants me to learn something from this - probably mercy, grace, compassion, empathy, this list goes on - but it sure makes you wonder who is telling your neighbor about watching you discipline your kid as she was getting lippy in Old Navy. I feel like I could give poor Jon and Kate some competition for cover space on a hometown version of US Weekly - if one existed. Sometimes I wish we could just be invisible when we are out and about as a family. Oh well, perhaps now that I'm a "celebrity", the Twilight producers might be interested in an adoptive Ethiopian mama vampire for the next movie.

Finding the Big Picture

Today the little ladies and I went to Costco to pick up bottles of children's multivitamins. Our church is sending a team to Uganda to work with about 1900 children who are served through Discipleship Mission International, a local indigenous Christian organization in the country. Many of these children are HIV/AIDS orphans. The team asked for vitamins to help meet some of the nutritional needs of the children they will be working with. Malnutrition is the #1 killer of kids under 5 in Uganda. Through connections with a few other moms, I was able to get nine big bottles. As I drove away from Costco, I was doing the math in my head and realized that at 300 vitamins a bottle, that's 2700 vitamins ... a little more than one vitamin per kid.

That leads me to the point of this latest post. One thing that Davis and I have been discussing lately is how it has been easy to lose sight of the whole reason we even got into adoption in the first place now that we have two toddlers. You get so caught up with the micro-level issues - scheduling swim lessons, getting to music class on time (getting anywhere on time is kind of joke now), demonstrating appropriate potty behavior as your little audience stands by enchanted by the magic of the flush, trying to figure out when the heck you are actually going to get your work done so you don't get fired, policing your youngest so she doesn't pick up a nasty Tic Tac from the grass at the park and put it in her mouth (this really happened...and I realized after it had already been in there for who knows how long), etc. - that you forget almost entirely about the larger macro issues. We got into adoption because there are children throughout the world, made in God's image and precious in His sight, that have no homes and no families and are destined to lives of poverty (and worse), unless we do something. We felt when we adopted that in doing so we were fulfilling a part of a larger calling God has for our family. The challenge now is trying to find a way to keep the Bigger Picture in sight even when the Little Picture of our lives is so messy and so loud and often pretty chaotic. It's so easy to get insulated and lazy. It's much easier to just go about your business. My day is stressful enough as it is in Mommyland without figuring out what our "next step" needs to be with regard to the global orphan crisis and yet we are finding that we sense there is next step that we need to pray about. A good friend asked if we will adopt again. It's not something that we are seeking out right now but it's also not something we are opposed to if that is what God has for us. Given how much our girls adore older kids, I can see us adding an older child to our family if God provides the resources for us to do that. I have always had a burden for older children in my heart and that still remains. All I know for now is that just because MY girls are now home - loved, protected and provided for - doesn't mean I get a pass on all the rest of the orphans that remain.

If I ask Junia now if she is from Africa, she will happily say yes. She understands that she and Eden are from Africa and that Mommy and Daddy are not. I explained to her today that we were buying the vitamins to help sick kids in Africa. I can't help but feel like my one vitamin a day effort is nothing more than a pittance. You are not going to solve the larger systemic problems of malnutrition in a country by giving a kid one vitamin but at least it is something. We are trying to teach the girls even now that they, as members of the human community and The Church, must do SOMETHING, no matter how small, because everything helps when you have nothing. And that's what far too many kids across the globe have - absolutely nothing. If you read this blog, I'm probably preaching to the choir here though so I'll stop.

Recently, we participated in a Mission Ethiopia conference call on Facebook. A great organization called World Orphans was highlighted that is worth checking out. They work with local churches within Ethiopia to serve some of the 4.5 million Ethiopian orphans. Their model is really smart because it draws on the strength of local communities to create opportunities for mentoring that children need to move into adulthood successfully. Their model makes a lot of sense to me and I find it inspiring to see people continuing to look for fresh approaches to dealing with these seemingly overwhelming problems. Check them out and see what you think.

If you've read my blog for some time, you also know that I love Tom Davis. I've never met him, but he is a bit of hero to many in the adoption community. He's got a new book out that I am SO excited about. It's called Scared. I can't wait to read it. What's so cool is that Davis’s nonprofit, Children’s HopeChest, is raising $1 million to support educational projects in Swaziland. The sale of the books goes towards that. You can even download a free copy of the book here.

Scared - A Novel on the Edge of the World from Children's HopeChest on Vimeo.

What I love about Tom Davis and World Orphans and groups collecting multivitamins is that they are all about taking action. They are about doing something to make a difference for those who so desperately need us as friends, advocates, and possibly even parents.

For fun, I hope you enjoy one of my favorite recent pics of Eden. I cannot imagine what she would be like on sugar cereal. This photo pretty much captures what her personality is like from dawn to dusk. We laugh - and yawn - a lot around here.

Half Mommy and Elephant Birthdays

I have "blogging" listed as one of my many "hobbies" on Facebook and yet this is the first time I have checked back here at MuchHasBeenGiven for literally a month. My friend Christy told me today that "much may have been given but much has not been written". I'm glad she even still reads this! Even the idea of multiple "hobbies" is kind of comical right now. The girls have now been home three months and my previous "spare time" continues to elude me. Hence, my lack of blogging. Because I am a ridiculous perfectionist, I now feel like I am such a "slacker blogger" that I'm anxious about trying to pick this back up again. My blogging hiatus has seriously not been for lack of desire. I've thought "Oh, I should blog about that" about a zillion times but, as you can see, there hasn't been a whole lot of fruit come out of those thoughts - primarily because those thoughts are often interrupted by "What IS that she is sticking in her mouth?!" more often than not.

The little ladies continue to thrive. The doctor told us that Junia gained the equivalent of a year's worth of weight for her age in just 2 months. She is now in the 20 percentile! Go, Big Bear! Eden too is gaining weight and is now actually on the chart at a whopping 3%. Junia's transition to English has been nothing short of remarkable and it is amazing to watch how she learns new words and grammatical conventions each day. She loves to talk and often gives us a play-by-play on everything that is going on right now and everything that has gone in the past (ex. "Eden pulled my hair three days ago"). She communicates solely in English now with the exception of the word "Daddy" which she still likes to say in Amharic. Eden is also starting to talk A LOT and we can actually understand much of what she says now. Both girls are also thriving socially and really enjoy other people. They love to play with other kids and are very affectionate. We have also been pleased to see how - with consistent practice - they are quickly gaining competency in areas where we noticed some deficiencies (climbing, running) that were probably related to very limited opportunities in their early environments. Overall, they are blossoming and we count ourselves blessed. We are of course dealing with lots of challenges too because our kids are 3 and 18 months. That alone means we are asking for trouble. We have been given hearty servings of sibling rivalry and defiant behavior in addition to the warm fuzzies - but we are surviving. We have also recently taken on potty training which has been "fun". My saving grace has been a little fuzzy red man (?) named Elmo. For whatever people say about that little guy, I will always be in his debt for the 20 minutes of QUIET that he affords me each day. He also has a sweet potty video too. Rock on, Elmo - and thanks.


We are holding our own as well. Things improve with each month that passes as we continue to settle into our routines and roles and learn more about how to actually be parents. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about my children in light of Matthew 25. I recently had a moment of "intense fellowship" with our youngest who has a strong will just like I do. My response to a screaming and defiant child more often than not is "Do you REALLY want to go there with Mommy?! BRING IT ON, GIRL!" I was reminded by the Quiet Voice that spoke under the pounding of my own pulse that she was one of "the least of these". She came to us with nothing. She needed everything. She was and is entirely vulnerable. And in that way she was - and is - Jesus to us. Putting your parenting in that perspective forces you to examine and evaluate much of what you say - and do.

So I've been doing a lot of questioning. I think every new mom does that. You already wonder if you are completely inept as a mother because so many things are beyond your expertise and totally out of your control but being an adoptive mother in a transracial family adds an additional level of evaluation to EVERYTHING you do. I have slowly come to just accept that random people will always be looking at - and talking to - me and my family. This continues to be stretching for me as a more private person and I am praying that God will shape my heart so that I can be more gracious. I have also become more confident with using humor to deflect the truly ridiculous or invasive comments and that to me is empowering (like when I recently told the woman who asked me rather incredulously when I was in line at a store with my two squirmy toddlers if the girls were "mine" that I had found them outside in a shopping cart). I have also found that having a "plan" for how I will answer certain invasive questions is helpful. That way I can be gracious and yet still quickly put an end to questions that are becoming inappropriately intrusive. This is going to to become even more important as the girls get older. We got into Ethiopian adoption because we feel passionately and urgently about the need for action to address the global orphan crisis. We want to see orphans find forever families and our own family story may serve in a small way toward that end. But as an adoptive family of two very young children the tension is balancing those Big Picture goals with the need to not always feel like a poster family for international adoption. This is particularly challenging when you are out and about with two toddlers in tow. What I find difficult is that people are already looking at you for various reasons so when your toddler has what would be just a normal - albeit embarrassing meltdown - in a public place you add to the embarrassment you are already feeling the anxiety of life under a magnifying glass. You wonder - or at least I wonder - if people are thinking I'm not really qualified to be a mom because these are obviously not my birth children. It's a strange feeling, almost as if you feel like you have to prove to everyone that you are legit because you didn't actually give birth to your children (this is exacerbated by people who talk about what it is like when you have "your own" - as if adoptive families somehow don't share in that). Sometimes I feel like a "Half Mommy" who needs to justify to the world that she really is a "real mom". Maybe other adoptive moms deal with that - I don't know. I just often feel like I have to try twice as hard because everyone is looking at me and judging me all the time. For me, I've had to just be ok with the fact that no matter what the random lady in line thinks, when my daughter manages to fall out of bed and land on her head, as she did in the middle of the night last night, the one she is screaming for is me - Half Mommy or not - and that needs to be good enough.

Our most recent family highlight was celebrating JuneBug's 3rd birthday with an elephant birthday party. It was a great day for our Big Girl as we celebrated with special friends and family. Highlights included jolly jumping, playing pin the tail on the elephant, decorating elephant cookies and getting a new trike from Grandma and Grandpa and a new wagon for the beach from Uncle Larry and Aunt Kim. We hope you enjoy the pics! Also included are a few fun ones from daily life in our little family and our favorite picture from our recent family photo shoot on the beach - more on that to come!

Happy Mother's Day...

...to all of you who labor in what is truly the world's toughest job. You are valiant indeed.