Just Bear-ly Getting By...

Sometimes you have days as a parent where you feel like you are just barely getting by, as if one more unexpected "you've got to be kidding me moment" will push you over the edge into an abyss of utter chaos. One of those moments for me happened today when Junia came to me holding a very smelly poopy diaper proudly in her outstretched hand. "Here, Mommy!" she beamed. I put the eyeballs back in my sockets and went hunting for her sister. Eden was laying bare-bottomed in the hallway covered in poo. I launched into a treatise on why changing Eden's diaper is "ONLY MOMMY'S JOB" only to have Junia look at me very matter-of-factly and say "Junia try to help Mommy." After I managed to diaper the Little Bear and wipe the poop of the baseboard (seriously...this is the first time in my life I have ever had "mess" on my moulding), I thought how cool it was that Junia wanted to help me. She sees me as her friend and wanted to help me because she cares. That is a special gift. It's special that we are friends. The other side of chaos-infused moments are days like today when you smile and think "Wow, I can't believe these are really my kids." It's funny because I think in some ways I still find it surprising that they are always going to be here. They kind of just appeared in my house one day (after a LONG plane flight home) and now they are my daughters. It's a bit surreal. I think about them as teenagers ALL the time because I really worry that they are going to hate us someday - for the obvious "My Parents Are SOOOO Lame" reasons and the other obvious one in our family - we are white and they are not and our choice to adopt them transracially may have made their lives a bit more challenging than the average teenager. What I realized today as I was blowing on Junia's toes to dry the touch-up I had done on her nail polish (she thought this was VERY VERY funny and laughed hysterically as I puffed away) is that this really is my daughter and she is here to stay. It's not that I didn't know that but I thought today about her being in her 20's and me being in my 50's and us being friends. That was a weird thought to me. I thought about how cool and fun she is and how I would enjoy hanging out with her someday. I hope someday she'll feel the same. I'd like us to be friends forever.


(And no, this is not her Halloween costume. You'll have to wait for the debut of that project later this month!)