CBS News and Feeling Weary

If you have adopted from Ethiopia or are considering adopting from Ethiopia, there is a good chance that you have already had a curious relative or friend email or call you about this recent piece from CBS.


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Sadly, this is not the first news piece of late that casts international adoption in a less-than-favorable light. In late 2009, a similar story ran on an Australian news network that detailed the sad and tragic story of what it called "Flyaway Children". In both stories, the adoption agency featured was Christian World Adoption. And, of course, who can forget about our friends the missionaries from the church of "What Were They Thinking" in Haiti who really launched the media feeding frenzy over "international adoptions gone wrong". I have been purposeful about not saying exactly what I do in my career in the effort to try and preserve some privacy in the Wild West of the Internet. However, at this time, it seems appropriate to note that my background is in media analysis. As a media analyst, there are many things that I find troubling about what I am seeing being broadcast into homes all over the country - and all over the world - right now. Sadly, much of what is being shown is negative - images of children and families whose lives have been shattered by adoptions that are characterized by deception, inauthenticity and pain. What is being shown focuses on birth families and adoptive families alike who have been manipulated, abused and mislead in a process that seems like maybe "it just shouldn't be happening". I can't help but feel like international adoption is being distilled down to being about the Big, Bad, White, American, Often-Religious-Freak, Often-Infertile
Child Traffickers who are wreaking havoc on the innocent around the globe. Now, as an adoptive parent who does not relate to the aforementioned labels, I find these mischaracterizations offensive.

In analyzing media messages, it is imperative that we ask "How is this story being framed and why?" followed by "What part of the story is not being told here?" In the case of what we are seeing right now, it is fairly obvious that these stories are being framed to suggest that international adoptions are suspect and should be scrutinized because there is enormous potential for manipulation. While there may be some truth to this claim, it is not the whole truth. It is also important to note here that the story is being framed from the "child trafficking angle" because that angle post-Haiti (and especially post-Haiti-missionaries) is very saleable to a viewing audience. It has intrigue, scandal and deception, and sadly some truth to it too. All the makings of good reality TV - something that has been proven to rake in the ad dollars for networks. The problem here if we are going to indeed call these types of stories "investigative" is that they fail to examine the multiple sides to this incredibly complex story. From what I see in TV Land, there are few, if any, stories of successful international adoptions where adoptive families are happy, well-adjusted, and over the moon about their precious adopted chidren having completed an adoption process through a reputable, ethical organization who made certain that birth families were well-informed about their decision and few, if any, stories of birth families who are at peace with the decision they made and often grateful to the adoptive families for their role in their birth children's lives. If good investigative journalism examines all sides of a story, there are some serious omissions in this current media offering. I am not trying to defend CWA as I am not personally connected to the organization so as to know whether or not the claims being leveled against them are true or not. However, I am an adoptive parent and the generalizations being leveled at the whole lot of us are not only unfair, they are just not true, at least not for the adoptive families I know.

Do we need more scrunity of international adoption? Probably. Anywhere that vulnerability exists, there will be those who try to capitalize on that vulnerability for their own personal gain. Look around the world at anywhere where the people are poor and desperate and there are those who seek to do them harm working right alongside those who are trying to make their lives better. Certainly, those of us that care about orphaned children should welcome any investigation focused on protecting these vulnerable human beings.

When I see these stories, I can't help but feel tired. I remember joking during the adoption process about how we promised that we weren't "bankrupt pediphiles". The entire paperwork part of the process was so invasive that we felt like we were constantly having to defend ourselves. "Really. We really are good people who are really trying to do a good thing here. Really." In some ways, I thought (or maybe hoped) that having to defend our adoption decision ended once our paperwork was finally complete and we were "cleared" as acceptable candidates for adoption. Now, it appears that we, all of us in the international adoption community, are on the defensive again having to help a CBS-watching public understand that there really are desperate orphans around the globe with few options who really need people like us. As we consider another international adoption, it's hard not to question whether or not we really want to sign up for all of the hassle again. And then I look into the eyes of my two little girls - MY girls - the precious children of my heart who I now need as much as they need me - and I'm reminded of why we fight on for the cause of the orphaned child. All of their lives matter and so we must not "grow weary in doing good" as we live our lives in the public eye. We need to tell our stories to anyone who wants to listen and has questions about what they are hearing in the news. We need to shower our adopted children with affection so that people who don't believe that you can really love a child that doesn't come from your body can see that a family in love with each other really can look like a Benetton ad. And we need to pray. A LOT. As I look at the global situation for adoption of orphans, it's hard not to note how many additional obstacles are now in place in numerous countries that are impeding children from finding homes where they can forever be loved and cherished. I feel more strongly than ever that we need to intercede for the world's most vulnerable children asking God to protect them from those who would seek to harm or manipulate them whether they be corrupt governments, unscrupulous adoption agencies, or individuals seeking to profit from the desperate situation these children are in. We need also to pray that God moves to remove the obstacles that are forcing orphans to remain orphans when there are families willing to provide them with homes. It is prayer and faith that can "move mountains" and it seems right now that there are some mountains to be moved for the world's orphaned children.

"Let us not grow weary of doing what is good. At just the right time, we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6:9