Poppa's Post

I was recently talking with someone who told me that one of their concerns about adopting was how their adopted child might be received by members of the extended family. This was a concern that we too shared in the early stages of our adoption process. While we both come from very loving families, we still had concerns about how our families would react to news that the newest members of the family were going to come from Africa. In our case, our parents had waited 10 years for grandchildren when we came to them telling them that no we were not infertile and that yes we had chosen adoption as the way to bring children into our family. As it turns out, we had nothing to worry about! Both of our families have opened their hearts completely to our precious girls and it has blessed us beyond measure to see how God has provided our girls not only with parents but with grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins who love them dearly. In response to the concerns I have heard expressed from some potential adoptive families about the issue of how extended family may respond to an adopted child (particularly in a transracial context), I have asked Junia and Eden's grandpa, my dad and their Poppa, to take over this blog post and share with you his love story as it has unfolded with the Little Ladies. It is my hope that this may be useful to some of you who may be worried about if others in your family can love your adopted kids as much as you do. So with that, here's Poppa's Post, in his own words:

Dear Friends of Sarah and Davis,
A week ago Sarah asked me to think about writing about the adoption of Junia and Eden from the perspective of the grandparents. I hope you will understand this is from my perspective. I will send this to Sarah for her approval, if you are reading this I guess I made the cut!

I would first like to tell you and anyone else that will listen that I am totally, completely in love with those two, sweet lovely little girls Junia and Eden! They had my heart almost from the very first minute we met. My wife will confirm in a heartbeat that Junia and Eden have already brought a joy and happiness into our lives that is without measure. I hope and pray that I can help our grandchildren understand that real love is just that...love without concern to birthplace or skin color. And that is a glorious revelation that comes from my heart and has been cemented in my being thanks to Eden and Junia.

I am a product of growing up in NW Missouri in the 1940’s and ’50’s. Our family had strong ties in the southern culture of Arkansas and Tennessee. I remember very well seeing the signs “ WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO REFUSE SERVICE TO ANYONE” and at some of the water fountains, “COLOREDS ONLY”. We didn’t think much about it, that’s just the way things were. My life changed when as a young man my cultural experience growing up met face to face with my new identity as a born again Christian. It seemed to me that when Christ died for one, He died for all. And when I accepted Him I would accept His family. Over the years, God has continued to teach me in many ways about the nature of His love for ALL of His children.

When Sarah met and married Davis, I was really excited about the possibility of being able to have the “G”word -“GRANDCHILDREN”. That word can bring chills over a parent if he is not totally self controlled. Sarah and Davis loved their lives with each other and were doing so well in what they were doing......BUT WHAT ABOUT US?? I had already scoped out almost every kids' store within a twenty mile radius for clothes, cute little shoes, babies first golf clubs, etc. And of course I knew exactly where I would hang our new family photograph. You know,the one on every good family's mantle, where everyone is all dressed alike, probably in light blue denim, or white, around a fireplace or here in California maybe at the beach. There would be Davis and Sarah and the Grandparents, of course, and my son and his wife, and the GRANDKIDS. WOW! With the DNA from Sarah and Davis, they would have to be SuperKids and very photogenic. It never entered my mind that the kids might not look exactly like Sarah and Davis.

Sarah had told us that some of her friends had been adopting and were very happy. When the time came to tell us they had been strongly thinking and praying about adopting I just hoped they weren’t being overly swayed by the pressure to get on the parent wagon. And, by the way, where the heck is Ethiopia? Are these Caucasian children? How dark are they? Pathetic, huh. Sarah told me how they had been praying and that the God I love so much had put this on their hearts. They told me they had the room and everything necessary and the heart and love of God to take this on. I knew that was a direct word from our Father. God had told them if they really wanted to be like Him they should be willing to love the children that might be harder to place, those that were a bit older and probably malnourished, maybe sick. When I heard that, I could only do two things, cry and repent again. What I would have missed out without the girls. Such joy! Words cannot explain. But I will try.

And now the good part. JUNIA AND EDEN!!!!!

After months of waiting and praying and praying and waiting, the time came for Davis and Sarah to leave LAX for the trip to Ethiopia to pick up their two little girls. Sarah and Davis left LAX a young upwardly mobile, stable young couple that only had eyes for each other. They had accepted God's challenge and returned home real honest to goodness parents, a “Mommy and Daddy “. Their babies could now increase and experience good food and shelter and love and devotion and stability and knowledge.....and a bathtub and shampoo and hand lotion and toys and toys and toys and “Elmo goes to the Dentist”. (Oh my, I will tell you about that later if I get invited back.) These little girls are growing up! Physically, mentally, spiritually. It’s a prime example of “the apples not falling far from the tree". They are learning well from their bonafide Mommy and Daddy. I have learned a lot about trusting my adult “kids”. I am so proud of Sarah and Davis. Even if our kids are grown, sometimes it is hard to just trust that Christ Jesus really is doing in their lives all those things you prayed for them when they were younger now that they have made the decision to climb to higher heights. If you haven’t been reading Sarah’s blog, and you should...you should see the girls now! I love those girls dearly. I want to take them out and show them off to everybody. I am just waiting and hoping one of those people will come up to me and ask me one of those questions the have asked Sarah, “Are those your children?” (As if was any of their business in the first place.) I already have my answer ready for them. “OOOh yes!! They are our first grandchildren and I have even been told they resemble me! I am sooo happy!”

I just have one short story that happened to us that has changed my life significantly. A few weeks ago we were coming from our home several hours away to see the girls. We called Sarah to tell her we had arrived in town. She said the girls had just finished their lunch and would be going down for their nap, but she would keep them up until we got there. We arrived opened our car doors and called out their names to let them know we were here. As I opened the front door they were looking for us. It seemed like forever before they saw us . Both threw up their hands and Junia shouted out with the biggest smile "GAMMY-POPPA!!!" As we walked toward the table where Junia was sitting on the bench she patted the bench next to her as if to say, “Come sit here by me”. GAMMY/POPPA! Enough said. For two little girls just learning our language, they couldn’t have said it better, we knew we were wanted and loved.

I hope this will encourage those of you that may be dealing with questions about adopting a baby or babies that may not look exactly like you. I believe we are products of our environment and that we can take on the best of what our children have to offer and give to them of our best. We all win. I thank you for allowing me to share with you from my heart, tears of joy included. My prayers are that you will allow God to love you in such a magnificent way.