Today is Christmas in Ethiopia. BBC News has a wonderful narrated slide show with pictures from the Christmas celebration in Lalibela. I am so glad we travelled some in Ethiopia prior to picking up the girls. I feel like we have such a better sense of Ethiopian culture and of Ethiopia as a nation. We took this picture right in the same area the BBC report is focused on. (Who is that blonde with my husband?!)
We've been getting a variety of questions about our adoption experience lately. Here are a couple of quick thoughts on our experience as it relates to things we would do again:
1. We were very pleased with Gladney - even though the process itself with any agency is incredibly tedious and frustrating at times. We would use Gladney again. Our caseworker Jessica was a saint for putting up with so many of my annoying phone calls and emails. They are also doing some wonderful humanitarian work in Ethiopia for the many children that remain without forever families to adopt them.
2. We would absolutely adopt multiple children - in our case two - at the same time again. We believe our transition to parenthood has been easier because each of our girls came to us with an instant best friend. Yes, it has been a challenge at times but if you think you can handle two, you should take two. The need is great and keeping families together is a wonderful thing. We also feel even more strongly having now spent time as a transracial family in a suburban area that bringing two children into our family that look alike (even though they don't look like us) and have a shared history different from our own will make for a much better adjustment for them later on in life. We understand now why one agency working in Uganda actually only adopts children out in pairs because of what they have seen with regard to healthy adjustment in adolescence. It's hard sometimes to not have my children look like me. It will probably be even harder to not look like your Mommy or your Daddy. Once again, if you have the ability to take more than one child, you should.
3. We would strongly recommend taking just a few days before your placement to see the country from which your children came. It is very doable pre-placement and is a life changing experience that helps you understand WHY your children came to be orphans in the first place.
4. We would choose adoption again. If you have room in your family for a child/another child, you should ask yourself "Why not an adopted child?". Ultimately, for us, we could not make any case for why NOT to adopt. Have you ever seen that bumper sticker "Don't breed or buy while homeless animals die"? I have to resist the temptation to get soap box-y here but it does seem reasonable to me to apply that same logic and compassion to human beings, at least on some level. What if every family that was open to another child (or a child at all) opted to include adoption as a part of their family plan? That would change the world. Literally. The children are out there and they need you. They need all of us - desperately. Giving the gifts of hope, future and family is one of the greatest things you can do in life.
Merry Christmas! Meklam gena!
2 years ago
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4 comments:
Thank you for your comments! I have followed your blog for a while and am so glad for your example. We hope to bring home two children this summer or fall, and I so agree with your comments. We have one little gal from Guatemala and I do think it would have been easier to have two for some of those bonding and attachment issues.:) Thanks again for your positive example and thoughts!
Great comments.
Wow! I am jealous! Wish we had made more time to explore outside Addis. The church in Lalibela is one of the places I wanted to see, for sure! I bought a beautiful painting of it at an art gallery across the street from our guesthouse, but nothing compares to the real deal! So cool!
I appreciate your comments about adopting 2 at a time. If I had it to do over again (hindsight), I would've gone that route, but God had other plans for us. If there is a "next time", I am praying about another girl (or 2). Not sure my husband will be on board with it, however. We'll see where God leads us.
It's true, there are so many children and so few willing to take them in. Politically, I still feel strongly that if one is going to take the position of being pro-life and legislate for the rights of unborn children, we need to take that step further and be willing to say to a birthmother in trouble, "I will raise your child for you!" We need to be the difference for that baby. And when poverty and disease ravage and children are left without parents, either who are unable to raise them or who have died, we have to choose not to look away but to instead say, "I will do something for this child." Of course not everyone can adopt themselves. It is a unique calling that isn't popular. But even if one can't adopt himself, he can certainly help someone who can and/or wants to. Adoption is one of the most blatant, powerful ways the Church can truly be the Church. I love hearing your thoughts!
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